My, how the times have changed. Not a decade ago, businesses sought to outdo each other’s holiday parties. Companies vied for the most astonishing locale, hottest caterer, and spirits—so much so that the production overshadowed the season’s true nature.
Ever since the New York Times and the New Yorker published articles chronicling allegations of sexual assault and harassment against producer Harvey Weinstein and seemingly every media star or mogul you have ever heard of, with more women coming forward each day, corporate America is taking notice.
Challenger, Grey & Christmas, an outplacement consulting firm, conducted a holiday party survey of 150 human resource representatives titled, “Is the ‘Weinstein effect’ causing companies to curtail celebrations?” The firm reported that about 10 percent of employers will not hold a holiday party this year after having held them in the past. Less than half of employers (47.8 percent) will provide alcohol at holiday parties this year, down from 62 percent in 2016. “Employers are currently very wary of creating an environment where inappropriate contact between employees could occur,” said Andrew Challenger, Vice President of Challenger, Gray & Christmas.
A Company Party has the Word “Company” in it.
During my 40-year career, I have attended more than 500 holiday and office parties. Most of them, even back then, were participated in by well-behaved executives, but there were always a few situations where you just shook your head and wondered, “What were they thinking?”
Not grokking the purpose of the party. Many people go to a holiday business party (theirs or a business client’s or partner’s) with a different mindset. They assume it is a party—which it is in a sense. More importantly, work occurs under various conditions, from regular workdays to those with many of the same people. There are people at the party who establish your salary, if you are ready for the promotion or if they want to do business with you. Because you are not in the office, it can be tempting to be overly casual or say things that you would not otherwise say in the office.
Hors d’oeuvres do not mean dinner. Some people at business gatherings make a beeline for the serving table and pile a plate so high with food that I worry the plate will crack from the weight. They eat so much that you cannot even distract them with a “happy holiday.”
Talking to only those with whom you work. If you are hosting a party for clients or potential clients, avoid the temptation to speak with your work colleagues. Remember, many of the people attending may only know a few people. You are a host, even if you don’t know many attendees.
Arriving too early or leaving too late. Nothing is worse than guests who attend a party 15 minutes before the event begins. Well, there is something worse: the guests have a good time staying long after the party ends.
Drinking too much. Getting sloshed at a business event is one of the worst ideas ever, but it happens at every holiday business party. And the next day, you can hear the whispers, “Did you see Evelyn struggle to find her way out of the house?” “Boy, Bob sure was not feeling any pain last night.” Do you want to be the person everyone talks about the next day? Will that engender respect or help your career? Enough said.
Advice from a Pro
Cindy Clifford, President of The Clifford Group and one of the nation’s leading PR gurus, has planned thousands of corporate events. She offers the following advice:
Dress up but not so much that you stand out. Consider the occasion. The attire for a business open house may differ from that of a cocktail party.
Arrive about 15 minutes after the party starts and leave before it ends. You don’t have to say goodbye when you leave; folks are busy. You can sneak out.
Mix and mingle with everyone. Avoid only talking to your close colleagues and those you know.
Make light conversation about holiday shopping, holiday plans, business, etc. It is not time to get into the nuts and bolts of work, especially not your career. And it goes without saying that this is not the year to discuss politics. Avoid pitching your business if you are at a prospective client’s gathering.
Eat the food. Someone planned this event, and they want to see people enjoying it. Don’t ask for a to-go box or act like this is your first meal in months.
Alcohol. If you have one or two drinks, switch to Perrier. Do not drive other colleagues home unless you are a solid, sober, designated driver.
There are different rules for home parties. If it’s at your boss’s home, bring a small gift. Do not bring a bottle of wine that says, ‘I didn’t put any effort or thought into this.’ Instead, get a book you love, a box of fancy candy, or something special. If you are attending a party at home, don’t ask for bourbon if only wine is served. Only wander the house if you ask. If you break something, let the host know.
Write a thank you note and mail it. This is so rare nowadays and very impressive to the receiver.
Respect others’ boundaries. Be careful not to become overly physically familiar with people you don’t know well. It is a new day, and it is better to err on the safe side.