As Thanksgiving week approaches, it is time to reflect on our many blessings both personally and professionally. Over the years I’ve shared that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, I’ve reflected on the gauntlet of travelling during the busiest day for air travel, and polled our team on their favorite Thanksgiving foods.

This year, acknowledging the less blessed moments of family gatherings, I asked our team to offer our readers advice: How to survive awkward family moments over the holiday—from diffusing heated political discussions, to ignoring that embarrassing thing your weird uncle does, to nice things to say about a disastrous turkey, to negotiating old traditions in a newly blended family. We’ve changed names and details to protect the innocent (and the guilty) to avoid a new awkward moment this Thanksgiving.

I’ll start us off:

Flipping the Bird

Eight years ago, in November, I packed up my life and moved to California. I was coming here for all the right reasons: business opportunities, the weather, love and more taxes (of which I remind my lovely Faith every April 15th!).

What I didn’t know was that holiday time would include the past spouse. It seems I found myself the Mother Theresa of northern California, and all orphans were welcome, large or small.

Settling in to this novel concept was challenging, but what started as mild concern turned into awkward alarm when HE put the bird on my grill and announced he would make it. Didn’t he know the adage: Never touch another man’s grill?

I haven’t touched a turkey in eight years!

Finally, we begged off the “bring an X” tradition, and I thought this year would be my chance. I was wrong.

“My daughter is bringing her chef friend,” Faith announced with glee. “He’s smoking the turkey!”

My advice? There’s always football.

Best. Brownies. Ever.

Sometimes, families clash over the ingredients of traditional holiday dishes. One person may insist that marshmallows top the sweet potato casserole, while another vehemently protests. One family member can’t eat gluten; another is horrified that the stuffing is gluten-free. Then, there is the “special” ingredient that one Thanksgiving guest added to a batch of brownies. Alex & Red Managing Director John Mann tells the story:

Thankfully, most of my Thanksgiving holidays have been intentionally innocuous and time well spent with family and friends. However, several years ago a friend shared a story of her Thanksgiving holiday. She was hosting Thanksgiving that year and asked each family member attending to bring a specific dish—rolls, stuffing, sides and desserts. Her sister volunteered to bring brownies but took it a step further and made an “adults only” batch of brownies. To my friend’s surprise, her sister persuaded a few of her teetotaling senior relatives to try them. Needless to say, she reported that by early evening most of the adults were mellow and agreeable, or sound asleep.

John’s advice? Pass the brownies.

“So… when am I going to be a grandma?”

Research Associate Abby Buchold reminds us, “with the holidays approaching, many of us will be at the table or sitting on the couch with overly curious relatives. I count myself lucky that neither my parents nor my in-laws ever prodded me with questions about having kids, but occasionally one of my husband’s relatives would get up the nerve to ask him about it. (I think they were afraid to ask that in front of me.) My husband tells me they never ask again if he gives this answer, ‘I’m too selfish to have kids.’”

Abby’s advice? Silence a cringe-worthy line of questioning with a polite but firm response.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

Senior Associate James Irvine shares this story:

In 2015, my parents, brother, fiancée and 13 aunts, uncles and cousins gathered in Carmel, California for Thanksgiving. It was great to get everyone together in a breathtakingly gorgeous place, but 18 adults under one roof can get hectic! Late afternoon on Thanksgiving day, a few of us drove to Pebble Beach to grab a cocktail, as is necessary when navigating such a large family gathering.

Jamie’s advice? Keep your cool with a cocktail (as long as it’s enjoyed in moderation).

The introvert’s guide to Thanksgiving, by Research Director Kyle Robinson

For introverts, large gatherings of people—yes, even family members—can quickly drain their energy. It is tiring to always be “on” and carry on conversations with people you haven’t seen since the previous holiday season (and to bite your tongue when your crazy uncle starts off on one of his political rants again). So, here are a few easy tips for any introvert to remember while surviving the holiday season.

1. Come prepared with talking points. Have some conversation starters prepared to help avoid those awkward silences that send introverts running for the hills. Remember that your cousin John recently moved to California; ask him how he is enjoying the weather at this time of year. Ask your Aunt Susan how retirement is treating her, and whether she has any trips planned for the coming year.

2. Step away for a few minutes. When you have reached your people limit, find a quiet place to retreat to for a few minutes to sit in solitude. Or, take a short walk around the block for a few minutes of peace.

3. Help out your host in some way. Giving yourself some sort of task helps keep your mind focused on one thing, while simultaneously making yourself seem social. Take people’s coats as they arrive, help set the table, or offer to do the dishes. It requires very little social interaction while at the same taking care of a huge chore that nobody likes to do.

4. Remember for what you are thankful. Large social gatherings are tedious for introverts, like me. But be thankful to have people in your life who care about you enough to want to include you in their celebration.

The holiday season will be over soon enough. Then, the introverts of the world can go back to enjoying wild nights at home with Netflix.

It wasn’t me!

Marketing Director Susan Hunt shares this story:

One year, my three kids and their five cousins disappeared upstairs at Mimi’s and Grampy’s house. Mimi kept an antique-looking phone in the guest bedroom that the kids assumed was disconnected. As children are wont to do, they cavalierly dialed 9-1-1 and listened, horrified, as the phone began to ring. They quickly hung up. And waited.

Several minutes later, the doorbell rang. Uncle Scotty answered the door to find a Sherriff’s deputy waiting outside. “Did someone dial 9-1-1?” he asked. The adults convened in the entryway and quickly called the children downstairs. Choruses of “it wasn’t me!” greeted us as the children shuffled downstairs. The sheriff understood and after some neighborly chit-chat and declining a piece of pie, he went on his way. Diplomatically, the parents, satisfied that the children were appropriately chastised, dropped the matter. At least until later that evening.

As we drove home, I grilled my kids again: “I believe you’re innocent,” I said, knowing my little angels would never lie to me. “Just tell me who did do it.” “It was ____________!” they confessed, throwing their cousin under the bus. I knew it all along.

Susan’s advice? Diplomacy first (duplicity later).

Director Sarah Mitchell’s catch-all advice:

My catch-all solution for whatever ails you on thanksgiving is to just take a walk. Butting heads with your in laws? Take a stroll and cool off. Need to find out who your niece has a crush on but she doesn’t want to talk about it in front of her parents? Stretch your legs with her. Bored with football? Out you go. Eat one too many pieces of pie? The great outdoors beckons. There is a very little that some fresh air and a hit of endorphins can’t solve.

What a trip, by Managing Director Jean Lenzner

With no family close by, I have traditionally used the Thanksgiving holidays as the perfect time to fit in a quick trip, often adding a vacation day or two make to stretch the long, holiday weekend. Last year’s destination was an unforgettable trip to the Amazon rainforest of Ecuador; other memorable locations have included Dubai and Hong Kong. As much as I loved each of these trips, I have found colder climates a little more conducive to engendering holiday spirit. Past cities have included Berlin, Montreal and Munich, as all of these cities host big Christmas markets. This year, I will be returning to New York City, and I am already looking forward to a bit of cold weather with all the lights and holiday decorations.

Jean’s advice? Make it an adventure!

And I never ate turkey again…

Director Bill Lepiesza shared this awkward moment from his post-college days:

One of our first post-college Thanksgivings, our friends had us over and didn’t realize that there was a plastic bag full of whatever inside the turkey (Editor’s note: giblets, that’s what’s in the plastic bag: heart, gizzard, liver and various other visceral organs), and cooked it with the bag inside. It was covered in melted plastic when it came out of the oven.

Bill’s advice? If the bag has melted or warped in any way during the cooking process, it’s best not to serve the turkey. The plastic contains chemicals that can leach into the bird. Frozen pizza, anyone?

The day she lost her lunch, by Ashley Martinez

Years ago, I went to Thanksgiving with my college boyfriend’s family. They live in the northern United States, and the weather was freezing cold. Dinner was going well until I started to feel nauseous. I excused myself and hurried to find a restroom. They were all full! I made my way to the front door just in time to lose everything I had eaten (it turns out they put cream in their mashed potatoes, and I’m lactose intolerant). By the time my boyfriend checked on me and I had pulled myself together, the vomit had frozen to the porch; we had to haul hot water from inside to wash it away. While my boyfriend’s mother’s first concern was getting that porch clean, the rest of the family put me at ease and diligently pointed out any dishes on the table made with dairy.

We’re still friends, and whenever I see him or any of his family members, it’s a running joke.

Ashley’s advice? Get those dietary restrictions out on the table before they are “out on the table” (or the front porch, or the bathroom).

Deep-fried turducken and Beaujolais

Database Research Administrator Mike Fulton, a Louisiana native, shares this story:

Many years ago, when I was around ten, my maternal grandfather—a devout Roman Catholic and a Cajun—drove to northeast Texas with us to have Thanksgiving with my father’s very observant, and teetotaling, Baptist family. He arrived with all the accoutrements to deep fry a turducken, as well as several bottles of Beaujolais. When my uncle protested about the wine, my grandfather just smiled and said, “I wrapped them up in brown paper just as the Baptists like it.” It was like the Wars of Religion in Europe all over again: Catholics on one side of the table sipping wine; Protestants on the other imbibing coffee or iced tea.

Mike’s advice? A little tolerance goes a long way.

Traditional takeout, by Managing Director Beth Ehrgott

Two years ago, as was tradition, the extended family gathered at my home for Thanksgiving. No one wanted to cook this year so we thought, no problem! We’ll order Chinese takeout. We called our favorite place down the road…closed. We tried the next place. And the next. And the next. We must’ve called a dozen places—all closed. Thanksgiving being a holiday all about food, I had assumed that most restaurants were open. I was wrong, and now I had a house full of hungry people and no food. We improvised: there was a half-eaten baked ziti in the fridge and two or three flank steaks in the freezer. And that was our Thanksgiving meal. You know what? We had a blast. True story.

Beth’s advice? Always have a backup plan.

A Thanksgiving vocabulary lesson, from Sarah Silva

When I was a little girl around eight or nine years old, I learned a new word at school. None of my classmates knew what it meant, but it sounded funny to our young ears, and we eagerly incorporated it into our growing vocabularies. Later in the month, during Thanksgiving dinner, my family members were saying our prayers and taking turns giving thanks. When it was my turn, I proceeded to list off all the people in my life I loved and appreciated. I mentioned a family member and used my new vocabulary word to describe him. The table went silent. My mom’s face dropped and quietly asked me if I knew what it meant.

That was first time I realized I had been calling my friends and family members a bad word. Thankfully, my family explained the meaning of the word, and gently suggested I strike it from my vocabulary. I apologized in great embarrassment. Our family still laughs about it to this day. (Just in case you are curious, the infamous word begins with “p” and rhymes with “trick”.)

Sarah’s advice? Laugh at yourself.

It was the kids, I swear!

Director of Finance and Administration Gayette Eicher tells this story about an invitation-only family holiday:

About five years ago, my kids and I were planning to go to Midland for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. I can’t remember why our plans changed, but we found ourselves staying in Houston with no real plan. I quizzed each of my children as to what they would like to do; the consensus was for me to cook a traditional turkey dinner at my house. Shortly after my conversations with them, their dad’s plans changed, and he and his girlfriend were without a place to go on Thanksgiving. Inclined to believe the more, the merrier, I suggested to the kids that their dad and, let’s call her “T”, should join us. Unanimously and adamantly, the kids said yes to dad, but no to significant others. They wanted a family-only celebration. Against my better judgement and my nature, I complied. After inviting him via text, he responded, “what can we bring?” My response was, “you don’t have to bring anything but please don’t bring T.” He didn’t text back for a couple of days and when he did, his response was, “we’re going to do something else but thanks for the invite.” I never admitted that it was the kids’ decision. To this day, I’m sure he thinks it was me.

Gayette’s advice? Sometimes, there simply isn’t a graceful solution to an awkward situation. And that is the truth.

Guess who’s coming to dinner?

As if to prove Gayette’s point, Executive Assistant Bob Freeman shares this awkward story from his childhood:

My brother’s former wife showed on Thanksgiving just as we were about to eat. My mom swears she did not know she was coming nor invite her (but I think she did). The ex-wife tried to sit at the table close to my brother, but there was some resistance; for instance, “Why don’t you sit over here by…” It wasn’t long before she was involved in conversations with other family members, but my brother’s ex-wife remained visibly uncomfortable.

Bob’s advice? Thanksgiving is no time for surprises. Confirm your host’s invitation and, if you are the host or hostess, make sure your guests know who is coming to dinner.

Sometimes blended families work

Just when we all want to go running to the hills this holiday season, Associate Katelyn Griffith shares this charming story of a second family sending its love.

Almost every year, my boyfriend’s family hosts a big family reunion over the summer. It’s chance to spend a long weekend and real quality time with his aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids. They are some of the warmest and most welcoming people I have ever met, and have quickly made me feel like a member of the family. They also spend every other year celebrating Thanksgiving together. I haven’t been able to join them the past few years for Thanksgiving as I have been spending the holiday with my family. My boyfriend knows how much it means to me that his family would invite me and how much I love spending time with them, so each year he puts together a video for me. Everyone waves at the camera and shouts, “Hi, Katelyn!” It is the sweetest gesture and warms my heart year after year.

Katelyn’s advice? Find yourself a partner that goes out of their way to make you happy and a second family that always makes you feel special.

Peace and quiet and the presence of love, by Managing Director Jane Howze

Thanksgiving is more than Thanksgiving to me. It also coincides with my wedding anniversary. We will celebrate our 39th wedding anniversary on the 29th. We typically make Thanksgiving about us and celebrate in Hawaii where we honeymooned. In addition to the obvious benefits, we avoid any conflicts with family members, cooking mishaps and the other things that everyone else has written about above. I am always grateful for the peace and quiet and the presence of my love.

Her advice? Make the holiday your own.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Alexander Group

Together, we wish you a holiday season free of awkward moments. And if there are, as there inevitably will be, send your stories to us… we are always grateful for a good laugh.

To recruit middle management executives successfully, organizations must focus on strategies that identify candidates with high potential and long-term leadership capability. This executive leadership recruiter’s guide outlines four essential tips to help you attract and hire middle-management talent who can drive growth and scale with your organization.

Why Recruiting Executives from Middle Management is Important

We’ve addressed the importance of succession planning. We related that the stress associated with a leadership change is inversely proportional to the amount of planning an organization undertakes for its leadership transitions. Many organizations mitigate the uncertainty of a leadership transition by developing a mid-management executive bench of possible successors to avoid the need to recruit management from outside the organization.

Arrow pointing up if you use our 4 tips to Recruit Middle Management Executives

Recruiting high-potential middle-management executives can immediately add value and long-term leadership options. The Alexander Group (TAG) searches for managers poised to climb the ladder to the C-suite and who can scale as an organization grows.

Who are middle managers?

Middle managers bridge the gap between senior leadership and frontline employees, translating strategic goals into actionable tasks while overseeing daily operations and team performance. They are critical in shaping organizational culture, driving change, and mentoring future leaders. Their deep understanding of the organization’s culture and team dynamics makes them invaluable in recruiting executives, as they can identify candidates who align with both technical needs and long-term goals. By involving middle managers in the recruitment process, organizations gain a more holistic evaluation of candidates and ensure a smoother transition for new executives.

How To Recruit Middle Management Executives

The following is our advice for recruiting managers with high succession potential:

Include members of the executive team in the search process.

Too often, senior executives delegate middle-management hiring and need more involvement in the hiring process. Participation is limited to a brief interview, often during the candidate’s final round of interviews. When interviewing a candidate, senior executives must take the time, free from distractions, to assess the candidate’s long-term leadership potential, experience, and credentials. Also, consider including other executive team members who can offer a different perspective and confirm the candidate’s leadership potential.

One of our clients, the CEO of a global industrial manufacturing company, participates in the initial interview of a middle-management candidate and subsequently meets the candidate again for dinner. His time signifies to the candidate that they have high potential and are long-term hires. He believes that “you can learn a lot about a candidate, who they are, their management philosophy, and what kind of leader they are” in an informal and personal setting.

Expand the position’s responsibilities to attract up-and-coming senior executives.

Consider expanding the position’s responsibilities by incorporating higher-level responsibilities that would attract candidates driven by growth opportunities and success. Discuss expanding the role with other leadership so that everyone is on board. In addition, be prepared to discuss the position’s short—and long-term objectives and development opportunities with the candidate.

We recently recruited the Controller for a national law firm whose Chief Financial Officer will likely replace the firm’s Chief Operating Officer when she retires in two years. The Controller will be an internal candidate to succeed the CFO. With this in mind, the CFO delegated some of his critical strategic responsibilities to the Controller and shared the role of presenting quarterly presentations to the partnership. This gives the Controller higher visibility, credibility, and the opportunity to establish a rapport with firm leadership.

Look outside of the box to recruit middle management executives.

Rather than narrow the focus on industry-specific experience, senior recruiting managers should consider expanding their search to include different industries and geographic locations. As we blogged a few years ago, companies continue to find value and impact in recruiting from outside their industry. Depending on what the manager is being brought on board to do, cultural leadership and functional skills may be more important than direct sector or industry experience.

Develop a comprehensive recruitment strategy that includes passive candidates.

Many exceptional managers are challenged in their current positions and must look at the job market actively. They need to review postings on career sites and send their resumes to search firms, but conventional recruitment methods miss them. Work with an executive management recruiter to identify passive candidates with a track record of accomplishment and experience leading high-performing teams. 

As TAG Director Sarah Mitchell wrote

“The role of the recruiter is: connector and communicator who can help a client define a clear picture of the type of person and the skills required for a critical role, and then in turn identify, recruit and educate an ideal executive about our client and the opportunity.”

As Ayn Rand said, “The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity,” the key to recruiting middle management executives with high potential is to create the ‘rungs of opportunity’ in the position.

Recruit Middle Management Executives for Success

Building strong leadership and driving organizational growth means companies must recruit middle management executives from their ranks. Whether you’re an organization looking to attract high-potential talent or a middle manager ready to take the next step in your career, these strategies—engaging executive teams, expanding role responsibilities, broadening search criteria, and targeting passive candidates—can help align the right opportunities with the right people. If you’re seeking top middle-management talent or are a candidate ready to excel in a leadership role, contact The Alexander Group today to explore how we can support your goals.

Illustration of a businessperson holding a clock, emphasizing punctuality as part of executive search best practices.

We recommend following executive search best practices to our clients because they also play a pivotal role in securing top talent. So, to ensure a successful hire, companies must treat executive search as a partnership, valuing the experience as much as candidate qualifications. 

One important point we make is that early impressions can greatly influence a candidate’s enthusiasm for joining. This guide will help you, as an executive search firm client, understand the key actions and strategies that contribute to making a strong, positive first impression on the most qualified candidates.

First Impressions in Recruitment

The executive search process is a two-way street. While much attention is given to candidates making the best first impression, clients need to remember that they need to nail that first impression, too. A critical part of effective executive recruiting strategies is ensuring that clients present themselves as a desirable workplace, making early interactions meaningful and productive.

Successful searches are built on a foundation of open communication. Before interviewing a candidate, a client should provide as much access as necessary to its executive search partner so that the team, company culture, and other essential details about the opportunity are accurately represented to the candidate.

Six Executive Search Best Practices for Employers

No matter how much information a candidate provides, the initial meeting is still a make-or-break event, dictating whether a desired candidate wants to continue on in the executive recruitment process. There are several simple but essential points for clients to remember to ensure they make the best first impression possible.

1. Be on time. 

One client of ours – a senior hiring executive for a multi-billion revenue technology company – valued punctuality in the extreme. If a candidate was even a few minutes late, regardless of mitigating factors, they were stricken from consideration. The client’s reasoning was that arriving on time demonstrated the depth of professionalism, preparedness, and respect for the hiring manager that a candidate possessed. 

We wouldn’t go so far as to expect a candidate to withdraw if a hiring manager is a few minutes late. However, one important client interview tip is to ensure interactions start on the right foot, avoiding situations where a candidate waits alone for 30 minutes in a vacant lobby.

2. Give a candidate your full attention.

We’ve heard horror stories from candidates where client interviewers read and respond to emails on their desktop PC for extended periods during the meeting. Candidates are giving their time – when they could be responding to emails, doing critical work, etc. – and commitment to the meeting. The client should show appreciation for the situation and similarly fully engage themselves.

3. Do your homework.

Top candidates perform in-depth due diligence before an interview; clients should do the same. Starting a meeting by saying, “This is the first time I’ve had a free minute to look at your resume” to a candidate doesn’t reflect how busy you are but rather the level of respect you are showing to the candidate. Top search firms provide concise, detailed appraisals of a candidate in addition to their resume, and it is critical to take the time to review those documents prior to the meeting.

4. Guide the process.

A good candidate listens first and will look to you for indicators. Be clear on the essential points you want to cover in your allotted time. Many clients must spend more time thinking through or planning the interview session. When familiarizing yourself with the candidate’s background before the meeting, think through precisely the interview goal – what are you trying to learn, and how will you ensure that you do so?

5. Details matter.

Typical business attire at the company may not be a suit and tie, but don’t show up to the interview looking ready for vacation. Again, the candidate is investing significant time in the search process and evaluating all the cues they can from you. The condition of your office, how you carry yourself, and other non-verbal indicators speak volumes to a candidate about you and your company.

6. Roll out the red carpet.

That cross-country relocation looks a lot more palatable when an organization shows it truly cares and makes the candidate feel special. If a client is putting all their effort into showing how much they value and respect the candidate’s participation in the process, the candidate may only stay in the process for a short time.

First impressions aren’t everything, but by making a great one, a client ensures they are in the best position possible to eventually welcome that top candidate on board.

Mastering Executive Search Best Practices and the First Impression

Following executive search best practices is essential not only for attracting top candidates but also for ensuring a smooth and successful hiring process. As an executive search client, your actions, preparation, and the impression you create during initial interactions are all decisive factors in an executive search strategy.

By treating the executive search process as a collaborative partnership, showing respect for candidates’ time, and committing to making a strong first impression, you put yourself in the best position to welcome the ideal executive into your organization. Remember, the investment you make in the process is a reflection of the quality of talent you’ll attract—and following these best practices will help you achieve hiring success.

You’ll find more information on our C-level search firm on our website.